Why I write Poetry

I started writing poetry a long time ago. 

My Grandmother (Margaret Reese) gave me a notebook she'd decorated to write my poetry in. She also gave me a rhyming dictionary. (This was for my birthday). I can't remember exactly what age I was, but I was between eight and ten. I loved it. I wrote AWFUL poetry, but I loved it nonetheless. As I got older, poetry became, for me, a voice I didn't feel I had. It was a way for me to express all of the feels I was overwhelmed with. I started getting good at it, and I liked it. I had poems published in school papers and purchased for publication. The more I wrote, the more I would find myself in what I called "writing moods"-- a mix of melancholy, moody broodiness that was palpably alleviated when I wrote out what I was feeling in free verse. I continued writing until a few years after I got married. After that, I still wrote a little bit, but it was, again, just awful. Oh well. Life goes in cycles.

Lately, I've been feeling the "writing mood" again. What you've read in the last week or so is the result of this. But I find that I'm giving myself small challenges as I write. In Outburst, I wanted to play around with alliteration (I've long loved the lilt of alliteration). I wanted to be a little bit daring in Desire, and Blurry was inspired by two distinctly different experiences. I'd had the phrase "There are no words for this wanting" tumbling about in my brain for some time; I paired it with my dear friend's terrible experience of losing her baby. I can't pretend I know what her experience is like or what she is feeling, but I do remember how I felt after I miscarried some twenty years ago. I chose the title "Blurry" because I'm a big believer in the idea that our Heavenly Father can clearly see the big picture of our lives, even when we can only see a blurry section of the finished product. Lastly, I wanted to write what I think of as a "Gotcha" poem in By the Numbers--where the reader thinks the poem is about one idea, but at the end realizes it's something completely different. Since a lot of the "two" part of the poem is lifted from my life with my husband, I can tell you he was a bit concerned by the time he got to the end of it! (I reassured him that everything was fine between us, and that he had nothing to worry about).

Which leads me to my final reasons for writing poetry: Poetry is powerful. It changes you. I taught a poetry unit to my ELD class while student teaching last spring. We did formula poems--things like "Just Because" and "Where I'm From" and I wanted them to get the idea that poetry could be a voice for them to say things that they wouldn't ordinarily feel comfortable saying. It became an experience that is hard to describe. When I started the unit, NONE of the students wanted to write poetry. As I wrapped up the unit, EVERY student begged me to continue--they wanted to write poetry more than they wanted to do anything else in their English language development. I think that in a small way, it changed their lives. I was glad, because I understood--writing poetry definitely changed my life.

In my own poems, I choose each word carefully, wanting to say as much as I possible can with only a few words. It is my hope that what I write strikes a chord in my readers, and maybe helps them process their grief, or helps them find their own voice to say what they need. To help you find a palpable relief that someone understands what you are feeling.

And maybe you'll be inspired to write some of your own poetry. (Even if it's awful). 

Monetizing

Has anyone in the blogosphere had any success monetizing their blog? I tried Google ads before, but that was kind of a bust. I know that niche blogs are more successful for monetization, but I'm not yet sure what my niche is. I know that bloggers exist whose only job is blogging (Design Mom, Dooce, for example) but I don't know how to start breaking into that kind of market. I'm also not sure if I can afford to be a full-time blogger, as I have other demands on my time right now. Plus, while I think I'm awesome, whether or not I am awesome enough to ask for sponsorships remains to be seen. (*wink*)

Thoughts? Any help/suggestions/real-life experience appreciated!

On Topic/Off Topic

I am kind of at a loss for words.

That is a new sensation for me, I'll admit. But my priorities and how I spend my time has shifted since I started this blog so many years ago. It started as an outlet for my essays--something I still enjoy writing very much--then shifted to being about my scrapbooking and my classes for Stampin'Cat, and then to photography. Now that I do roller derby, things are shifting in my life again.

What would you like to read about? I know that niche blogs are more popular than blogs all over the place. I could do different sections like the Pioneer Woman, but only if people would like to read that

If you have read my blog for either a little or a long time, what do you like about it? What would you enjoy reading about? Leave a comment and chime in, otherwise Narcissism will RULE!

New Year--Goals for 2011

trying for a family pic before church yesterday...H was talking...sigh...

I love New Year's! I love that feeling of a clean slate and a fresh start. I love looking ahead to my year and thinking about what I would like to accomplish. In 2010, my New Year's goals centered around my "40 before 40" list--and that was good. I DID think about what I wanted to do after I turned 40, but the rest of that year was caught up in a maelstrom of busy that left me little time to do much of anything--even blog (as you noticed, from my 4 month absence). This is influencing my goals this year.

Another thing that influences my year is part of Ali Edwards' "One Little World" philosopy. For me, my word is two-fold: my main word is "Balance," because when I get as busy as I was in 2010, I lose my balance. The second part is "Slow," because I need to slow things down. It's become a habit to live my life scheduled not by the day or the week, but by the hour--and that's not healthy or happy. I need to take a step back and slow down; I need to not cram so much into my life.

So "Balance" combined with "Slow" are my first two goals of the year. Other goals include attending roller derby practices a minimum of twice a week, eating more raw snacks (meaning fruits and veggies), clean/organize/overhaul my home--especially my craft area/office (it's a DISASTER!), take more pictures and continue to move towards photography as a side business, learn to juggle (literally--it's something I've always wanted to be able to do) and take more naps. (*smile*)

What are your goals for 2011? What would be your "One Little Word?" 

Still Alive!

Oh my blogger friends! If you are reading this, thanks for keeping my blog on your horizons, especially since I have neglected it for so longs To be fair, it's been an incredibly busy four months--even for me, where busy is my normal state of life. Here's a quick recap:

• I went back to work in the after-school program at the local Waldorf school.
• I started directing a church youth musical play, (that I also wrote). This meant managing a group of 40 youth, ranging in age from 12-17, as well as overseeing all of the aspects of creating a play--scenery, costumes, music, etc. We only had about 6 weeks to put on this play AND it was a competition with 9 other church youth groups.
• I went back to teaching music at a local preschool (the ELC). Combined with my Korean tutoring, I'm working between 25-30 hrs a week.
• I sang the National Anthem at the Sick Town Derby Dames September bout.
• In October, I did some subbing at the ELC, and started shadowing the Kindergarten teacher in preparation for taking over her class in November. For two weeks, I worked about 50 hrs a week while still having play practices and mom stuff and roller derby stuff.
• H turned 12 at the beginning of October.
• Our play (Roadshow, for those that know the lingo) was performed twice in one day, on October 23.
• I took over the Kindergarten class at the ELC the first week of November. I gave notice at Waldorf mid-October (I'm still on the substitute list there) because I couldn't keep up with it all.
• We found out at theRoadshow awards ceremony for the that not only did our little musical play win Best Script, Best Set/Scenery, Best Presentation, and Best Director awards, we also won the Grand Champion award! J shared the Best Actress award with another girl in our stake (a stake is a unit of organization for our church) but two other youth in our play won Best Vocalist (male and female) awards. I was very proud of the youth and how hard they worked.
• December rolled in with it's many concerts. Given that we have two children in band, one in choir, and the fact that I'm not only teaching music at the ELC but also our church choir director, it's really not a surprise that from the 12th of December to the 19th of December our family was involved in 7 concerts. I also sang/directed at a Christmas Eve service.
• Joel and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary on December 12th. (yay us!)
• My daughter J turned 16 in the first week of December.
• J joined the high school swim team.
• I started attending regular roller derby practices the second week of August and LOVE IT! I'm still not very good (I literally started with NO skating skills and had to completely learn how to skate), but I keep trying. I don't know if I'll be participating in a bout (or even a scrimmage) any time soon, but I'm definitely keeping up with this. My goal right now is to be better each time I put on skates than the last time I put on skates. I'm on the newbie team (Team Skabies) for the local Albany-Corvallis league, the Sick Town Derby Dames. I do have a derby name picked out, but am going to keep that to myself for a bit.

So that's it in a nutshell. We are still reasonably healthy and very very blessed. All in all, 2010 was a pretty successful year for the Nelson family, and we are looking forward to the challenges and joys of 2011.

Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!

What NOT to do with a cell phone

Motorola KrV or "Crave" R.I.P

Let me start by saying that I'd had this phone less than a year. I broke my last phone just a week before our 2 year upgrade by dropping it a couple of times within the same week. Not my best work. So when I got this new, flashy, fancy, touchscreen piece of junk, I was very careful with it. This time, it broke BECAUSE I OPENED IT TO MAKE A CALL! Seriously, I pulled it out of my pocket to make a call, and it fell apart in my hands. To be fair, I hated this phone. As soon as the "new phone glow" had worn off, I realized that the touchscreen lagged and often entered the letter right next to the letter you really wanted. But because I'm cheap, I was living with it. Now, of course, this particular phone is probably on a list of the "world's most useless phones." Luckily I have an awesome friend who gave me her cast-off phone (she had just upgraded) and I am quite pleased with it. It's funny that it's also a Motorola phone--but it works like a dream. Just goes to show you that you can find lemons in just about anything. When I took the pieces of my phone to the store so I could get my information transferred, the manager of the store was quite surprised by the damage, since my phone was in such good shape. "It looks brand-new!" he exclaimed, "Uh, yeah," I said, "Except for the fact that it's IN TWO PIECES, it's in GREAT shape." He then admitted that they also hated this particular phone and stopped selling it nearly immediately after it was released. Ah well. At least I had the blessing of a new phone without too much hassle, and it was easy to fix this particular problem.

Which brings me to how disposable our society has become. When I got the different phone, I needed a new car charger. So I toodled down to our local Goodwill store and found hundreds of wall chargers, car chargers, cables and whatever whatnot you could possibly need to stay technologically connected. $6.00 later, not only did I have a new car charger ($30 in the store) but a car charger for my iPod touch  as well (no idea what the retail on that was). My thoughts on this--before you buy new, check out your local thrift stores. You might find exactly what you need for a fraction of the cost. And it helps cut down on consumer waste. That's a win-win for all!

And be careful when you open your cell phone. You never know what might happen...

Guest Blogging for Ali Edwards today

You can read my post HERE. What fun!

Things I know Today--6-23-10

playing with capes in the yard

1. My sister Susan's birthday is in a week. My sister Janet's birthday was 10 days ago. I'm going to be seeing them this summer, and I hope I can get a gift made for them before I leave. I have a plan that I LOVE and just need to make the time to make it.
2. "Summer's lease hath all too short a date." Shakespeare had this one totally right. (sonnet 18)
3. I have been much too busy in the last couple of months. Busy to the point of insane. Good thing I have a break this weekend!
4. I have too much crafty stuff. It's time to let some projects good. Good thing there was the Super Crafty Swap last week!
5. I am learning to listen to my body better when I am eating. It's like a switch flipped when I turned forty. It's been a learning experience so far. Things that didn't used to bother me now do.
6. I am constantly amazed by the ingenuity of the human mind.
7. Basic Grey (a scrapbooking company) constantly impresses me with their new releases. Such cool stuff!
8. I am loving the Summer Stories so far on Ali Edward's blog and looking forward to the whole series!
9. Taking time to reflect and count blessings is a necessary part of life. At least for me. Especially when I have been so crazy busy.
10. I'm totally in love with my family right now. I am working on really feeling the present moment and appreciating it and it's working.

So Ready for School To be Done

H. gets ready to walk through the arch at the 5th Grade Promotion ceremony.

I've been working for the past six weeks at a third job. It's taking a lot of my time, although I really am enjoying it the job. I'm ready for something to leave my plate though. We have a busy summer planned, with road trips, surgery for C. (to fix his wonky eye), and another backyard play with our dear friends. Summers used to seem so long when we were children--now those ten weeks just woosh by. We are also planning to visit Yellowstone again.

I am also working on another list for myself. I enjoyed my 40/40 list so much (and yes, I haven't forgotten my need to do a "sum up") that I want another one to guide my next year. Here's what I have so far:

1. Learn to Juggle

2. See a movie by myself (a carryover from the last year)

3. Go away for the weekend by myself (another carryover)

4. Have a Photo Shoot Friday once a month, where I take pictures for one family. I want to have a book all about family connections when this is over.

5. Continue to make exercise and eating better an important part of my life.

6. Sew More.

I'll leave you with one last picture of my oldest son. He's embarking on the road to middle school. And he was the only one wearing a suit. I was so impressed with him!

Super Crafty Swap Partner--Totally Selfish Mention

If you are reading this as my Super Crafty Swap Partner, and you are a knitter, I have always wanted a pair of hand-knit socks. *cheesy grin* Someday, I'd like to learn to knit my own, but that isn't going to happen for awhile...

Whoever my partner is, Thanks in advance!

I'm still here!

I'm working at a local Waldorf school now--about 10-15 hours a week until school gets out. I'm also still doing about 25 hours a week for my Korean Newspaper Talk job, so that leaves little time for much else.

I'm also doing a Super Cool Crafty Swap with Amber Lee Pence, of The Ribbon Jar. I've done this once before with Amber, and had an awesome time!

Things I know Today: 6-1-10
1. I'm really really really tired of the constant rain. This is our punishment for having a dry winter, I think. We usually have mild sunny weather by now, and instead, just more rain. I'm wondering if we moved to Forks , Washington (where the Cullen's supposedly live) and didn't know it.
2. It's okay to advocate for yourself when appropriate.
3. Businesses that have reputation for good customer service will give you good customer service, especially if you ask for it.
4. I really need to stop drinking so much soda. It's like a switched flipped when I turned 40 and now I can't stomach it as well. I think I'm sad about this. I plan to try some uncaffeinated sodas and see if what is irritating me is the caffeine. I'll let you know.
5. I still have a crazy relationship with chocolate. Does anyone else chase their breakfast with a "little somethin'" and have a piece of chocolate after breakfast? Just me? Yeah, I figured it was like that.
6. Being close enough to family to have big family gatherings is a precious gift.
7. High School students can be crazy-talented.
8. Fresh french bread from the store bakery is a special treat.
9. So are fresh cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting.
10. My sister-in-law from Wenatchee makes a fantastic chocolate cake. I need her frosting recipe. She spent about 10 years as the food editor for the Wenatchee paper and it shows. Yummmmm.

Things I Know Today--5-14-10

1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that the sun has been out the last two days. I think I had a touch of SAD and didn't know it.
2. I still think that Cyndi Lauper is a mad genius.
3. I really love taking pictures. I've been mulling over hanging up my sign and trying to work it as a job.
4. I'm really unhappy that they closed my favorite store on May 1st. I'm trying not to think about it actually.
5. I have the best friends in the world! The kind of friends that throw you a surprise birthday party, dress up in '80's clothes, and create '80's trivia games just for you. You should be so lucky!
6. I got roller skates for my birthday and can't wait to hit the streets like I did when I was 8. And I should add that I'm hoping to hit them w/my wheels and not any other part of my body.
7. Money whooshes in and out of my wallet too quickly.
8. Being 40 is pretty cool.
9. I like my hair short, but wish it was QUITE so short. Still, when it comes to cancer, I feel like I had the easy part of it.
10. Chocolate is still one of my favorite things to eat.

Things I Know Today: 4-27-10

1. Korean children work very hard on their studies and their schoolwork.
2. I will be glad when the show (Schoolhouse Rock Live! Jr. at the Albany Civic Theater) is finished.
3. I will be sad when the show is finished because I have been lucky to work with a fantastic group of women (and one great Dad) as we put this show on. I will miss hanging out with them--it will be somewhat of a letdown. Luckily, we can plan lunch dates!
4. I will be sad when the show is finished because there is a great energy that surrounds 57 talented kids working together to put on the show and that is nice to be around.
5. Today will be a long day. I'm working three jobs today. More on that later.
6. I'm ready for the sun to stick around for a little bit.
7. Caffeine in the morning really does give you a kick-start. I don't usually imbibe, but my sweetie surprised me with my favorite soda mix this morning, and I am enjoying it.
8. I'm turning 40 on Friday. And I'm okay with that.
9. The Cowboys, Jet and Cord should TOTALLY win The Amazing Race.
10. I'm not going to finish my 40/40 list before my birthday and I think I'm okay with that as well. I learned a lot about myself, and am already thinking of a list to guide and shape my next year.

Proof that I live with Boys

This bouncy ball stayed on the piano for about a week. We even play this piano at least once a day. Yet there was the ball, just waiting to be noticed. Proof that I live with boys.

Shhh--don't tell my husband!

But Dandelions are some of my favorite flowers! I love that they signal the start of spring, and everytime I see one, I think of something my mother said once--that the only difference between a flower and a weed is that someone decided which was was which and we believed them.  There is so much yellow and purple in my neighborhood right now. I wish we weren't heading into a week of rains so I could take pictures and show you! Daffodils, forsythia, azaleas, hyacinths--all gorgeous and welcomed signs of spring.

What are the signs of the season where you live? Leave a comment and let me know which are your favorites!

Forty before Forty update

Random "Googie" architechture business sign. I have a soft spot for Googie architechture and try to snap a picture of signs as I see one

Remember this:

Forty before Forty

If Blogger would let me cut and paste, I'd have written an update by now....as it is, I have to rewrite the entire list (unless someone knows how to over-ride the lack of pasting in Blogger???)

I can tell you that with 2 months to go, I've accomplished 16 of them and have several more in process...some aren't going to happen, and that's okay. In this case, it may be more about the journey than the destination.

January went by in a flash...

H. playing basketball through the Boys and Girls club. They won this game, 42-30

Have lots of ideas swimming around that I hope make it to the blog. Plans, ideas and fun! Stay tuned!

I don't know why this choked me up a bit, but it did

So yesterday, in Church, I noticed a young boy and his little sister sitting off by themselves. I didn't think much of it. Didn't even really notice that there weren't any parents with them. The boy was about 12, I think, and the girl is about 4.

Then while leading the music at the children's worship part of our meeting, I was struck by this little girl's dress. It was just a lovely little thing, with a lovely print. She looked very clean and neat and sweet. I remembered some more details about her--mostly that her family hadn't been to church for awhile, and that what started them coming in the first place was her brother. He was baptized about a year ago, and started bringing them all (all being his sister and his mother) to church with him. But it had been about six months or so since I've seen them around.

What choked me up was noticing them a third time as I left the building. This brother and sister had come to church all by themselves. On a bike. Well, the brother was on a bike and pulled his sister with a bike trailer attached to his bike. He was buckling her into the trailer as I went past, and adjusting the rain hood on the trailer so she'd stay warm and dry. (remember that I live in Oregon--January is not kind biking weather) He didn't have a coat, but had his bike helmet on. I wished them safe travel and hurried to my car to get on my way. I saw them last as he crossed the big intersection on his bike, pulling his sister home. To him, being at church was so important that he'd ride his bike in inclement weather, pulling his sister behind him. What can I say, it got to me. I love church and I love going, but I don't know if I'd have that same kind of devotion. I wished I could do more for him, but also reasoned that he was doing pretty well as it was. Anyone with that kind of self-discipline and fortitude is going to be just fine.

College Humor Mashup

we are LOVIN' this mashup of the Top 25 Pop songs of 2009.

You know you want to dance now!
(Okay--I'll admit, I didn't know some of the songs and had to look them up. What can I say, I'm getting old!)

I REALLY need to update this blog

But I must admit, I'm a bit stumped for inspiration right now. Any thoughts/requests on what to blog about? Leave me a comment with your two cents worth!