Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My baby's growing up...and I'm not sure I like it.

At the Kindergarten Valentine's party

Yesterday morning, C, my youngest, announced that he was "full of snuggles" and didn't need any more. Since he was fresh out of bed, sleepy-eyed and tousled hair, I assumed he meant he didn't need his MORNING snuggles, so I said. "okay." and let it go. Last night, when I suggested our usual bedtime ritual of snuggles and knock-knock jokes, he reminded me that he was "full of snuggles" and didn't need any more.

That cracking sound you hear? It's a little piece of my heart breaking off as my last child moves toward the road of independence.

It's not that I didn't know that this day was coming. It's more that when we made the choice to finish having children with this third child, I didn't realize that there would be a day with no more babies. (not sure how I missed that one...) No more sweet neck sugars to nibble on, no more need for nighttime snuggles as an important part of the bedtime routine, no more of that fierce, intense, and deep unconditional love that only comes from your children when they are too young to be mad at you during the times when you have to parent them. I did know this day was coming--I had just mentioned it to Joel the other day--I just wasn't ready for it to be here so soon. It's like an elephant dropped out of the sky and landed on my chest. It's going to hurt for awhile.

Lucky for me, he changed his mind. Elephant airlifted away, crisis avoided. All systems are go for the snuggles.

And I'm going to hang on to them for as long as I can.

2 comments:

Allanna said...

Yeah ... I keep asking Bruise if he's going to stay with me forever.

So far, he says yes. And he denies any possibility of deserting me to go get married any time in the next few decades.

I try to believe him.

Leroy said...

Yeah for snuggles! When Kevin was about that age, maybe a little younger he did not want anymore kisses. He was done with them and would get angry if we forgot and accidently gave him a little one. Thankfully--that did not last and he's back to liking kisses on the cheek, for now. Whew! ~Janet